It's nothing bad or unusual. He may understand you have daddy issues and need a masculine pat on the back. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. 3. It's important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. 6. I cannot tell you how happy I am, for her, to witness her achievement and how much I admire her tenacity in overcoming all she has. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful "I'm so proud of you" In this sentence, "proud" being translated to is absolutely right, and is also OK. If that's the case, I suggest a change of phrase. Yeah, If grandpa was here, he would have said the same. The Psychology of Bragging - Counselling Connection Im happy that youre with me in good and bad times. . My sons grew up together and are spaced two years apart. And Im so ashamed of you. In this sense, a mentor is a parent that you choose, and the desire for his or her love and approval is as natural as the desire for that of a parents pride. She texted back that I make her smile and that shes proud of me. Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. Especially when your best friend is saying You make me proud, they arent just complimenting you. Don't lose control of your emotions. And John is left feeling confused and despondent. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. 13. Dont just thank them, you can reply with some cute responses to let them know that youre proud the same as they are. He's proud of you. . She continually updates her course with new examples and relevant material from the latest research. Like I wasnt doing enough before? Our children need to know that we believe in them, that we trust them, that we support them, that we love them, that we acknowledge them as individuals separate from us. It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. 11 Steps to Be More Proud of Yourself - Happier Human I think that the phrase really bothers me, because its like saying, Wow, I didnt think you were good enough to ever achieve -insert whatever here.- My fiance said it to me last night while I was doing the dishes. Its really a way of saying I am really the one who is special, Im the boss.and what it deserves is not thank you but rather, well kiss my ass you condescending bastard..get a lifethis proud of you nonsense is also related to people who have to say WELL GOOD FOR YOU when doing something mundane..like, someone catches me reading a book in publicoh, you are readingWELL, GOOD FOR YOU!! Even if it's true, he says, "I don't want to think that I was walking around for a long time looking like hell.". Image used under license from Shutterstock, research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you", protective role in a their child's mental health, Should Children And Parents Be Friends? It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. The key words (for this discussion) are creditable to oneself. With the best of intentions, we want to let our children know of our pride in them. SFD a bit late in the day to be commenting but I think your assessment of the phrase is spot on. When you say, "I'm proud of you," you may actually be simply rejoicing in another. To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. The child has done well enough for the parent to bring out the big guns the proud word. Great to hear this. My mother said it to me when I graduated from college and I will never forget it. 10. Reading the Parent Effectiveness Training book, or attending a PET course, will help develop positive and respectful parent-child relationships, and explore alternatives to praise. Youre the first person who is happy with it. Yes, I'm sure you've come across "me too" in such situations, but it's very often ambiguous, or sounds arrogant. But, the real credit goes to you and you only! They may find it difficult to take pride in who they are and what they have achieved. Im so glad that youre there for giving me support. It is an accomplishment that makes good memories in life. But I would also add another category: people who know you well *because* they have worked with you and even for you for a long time. Self-doubt can make it hard to accept compliments and to express gratitude for the words of others. Children who are continually praised, or told "Im proud of you" may not believe their parent. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. Yea, Thank you is not the only response. Later in life, after having been to university, but not knowing what I really wanted to major in and which degree I wanted to get (prepped for teaching career, but not convinced it was the right career for me), I stopped my studies and took a good union job, which at least paid some bills and gave me teh good feelign of earning money. What is the appropriate response when someone says they're proud of you You could also feel patronised. 9 Focus on Them When Praising Them PeopleImages / Getty Images Feb 10, . "How I do love you!" 90 Good Comebacks, Roasts & One-Liners For Sick Burns - YourTango Someone has just gone out of their way to say something nice to you. The first time I remember hearing it said to me (though I'm sure there were times before the instance I'm describing . 'A Total Failure': The Proud Boys Now Mock Trump They can be in dictionaries but over time can have slightly different meanings depending how they are used. Thank you all, too. Anyone could tell how proud he is to be with you by the giant grin that's plastered on his face when you two are together. This is 20 years ago, and I still remember this moment. I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. I googled a sentence on this topic to see if anyone had written on it (hoping they had). Praise such as this is a subject on its own much research and many, many books have been written on the negative aspects of praise. That is why a long-term mentor can also feel pride. Thank you so much. 20 Other Ways to Say "I'm Proud of You" with Sincerity (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). Because this was someone elses idea. that he harrassed them or . Use words that will strengthen your relationship. I agree that its a phrase that is really reserved for the individual doing, or accomplishing something, i.e. Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote I dislike the phrase entirely, regardless of how we are involved in the individuals life: parent, teacher, mentor, etc. So thank you, mom and dad! What does it mean when a woman says she's proud of you? (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) Here I would say something like, Youre so talented!/Thats brilliant! To reply to that right, here are the better and funny responses to I am proud of you from your bestie. By the fifth repeat of the painting, the response from him mother may quite different from the first. "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? The words hit me like a . Powered by WordPress. A hug or a gentle touch of the hand can even get this message across. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. Kids also like to know that they invoke parental prideas long as it genuine! This post was actually very helpful for me! Also, I really like the litmus test of how you would feel on the receiving end. But one doesn't want to say that they're not proud of their country if they're looking to lead it. Did I do anything extraordinary? I say it often to former students. All Rights Reserved. 13. the person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not about me, and by saying that is drawing the recognition away from me towards themselves. Overall, its reserved for people who you trust and respect. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! And that's how I arrived at the "I'm Proud of You" litmus test. Love you so much. ), belonging to my close friend, on her business page. I was very irritated and angry. To me, if someone I respect said they were proud of me, would mean much more and have a much better and more positive effect on me than if they said Im really happy for you because the feeling of someone being proud for me includes me, my efforts and achievements, and unites me with that person who said it at the moment of saying it. The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. 1 y. Here are some examples of what you shouldn't say to someone on their sober anniversary. But, what would be the better ways to respond to I am proud of you other than just saying thank you. Language gets corrupted. Take the compliment, give her a big hug and a kiss and tell her "I'm proud of myself as well" and "Thank you". They just say it. It makes sense for a mentor or parent to say this, or a friend or other who served in some coaching role. Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. This has always happened, but in a context like the current one, in which both rivalry and appearances are highly valued elements, it is very common for this class of individuals, educated to become this way, to appear. I am livid because a couple of arrogant, condescending people who had been known briefly, posted, We are so proud and impressed, on a stinking FB page, I do not use FB, etc. Focus on what is positive in their life and avoid getting overly . In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. I almost never tell anyone Im proud of them, for exactly this reason. 24. After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. Often the 'I'm proud of you' I get from strangers includes an unwanted and inappropriate familiarity, a hug a bit too long or a bit too hard, a knowing look and more emphasis on the 'I' than the 'you' in the 'I . Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. A friend persevered in getting her masters degree after running into academic trouble as an undergrad. You reject that person's generosity. I'm so proud of your painting!" Next course: We hope to run a face to face course beginning in early May, 2023. Marilyn, My life changed the day I heard Mr. Rogers tell me he liked me just the way I was. Partner: "You think you have a lot going on, let me tell you . 12. She is an accredited and highly experienced P.E.T. From what I read, she falls into the category of know them well but I wonder if its not something a bit out of place. Gun owners are more likely than non-gun owners to know someone who has been shot (51% vs. 40% of non-owners). Its my feeling that I should only express pride in something Ive accomplished. . I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything in the world. She says "Good boy. Future Planet. First, is there anything more emotionally potent than someone you really care about and admire telling you, Im proud of you?, It feels like I can name many movies where this serves as the emotional climax. How to Be Proud of Who You Are (with Pictures) - wikiHow A teacher or a mentor can be proud of their student, but you can't really be proud of your peers. If you're an ex-smoker, you can draw from your own experience of quitting. Do you think if they didn't mean it they would say it? Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. I can take pride if I made a contribution, but I have to frame it that way. The proud feeling transcends from child to parent. What is BBC Future? Private face-to-face sessions and course not available at this point. And you get to benefit from them regardless of the outcome of your relationship. Ah. The phrase, in my belief, implies my contribution as a parent. But who are you to affirm? But, it can also be a bit overwhelming because it puts the spotlight on us and can make us feel exposed. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. But, seeing youre proud of me, Im fine. Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" It can be difficult to respond to Im proud of you if youre struggling with self-doubt. The Mindset of the Ambitious Educational Elite, Thinking Clearly about a Persons Substance Amidst Stylistic Differences, On Intentionally Vague, Mystique-Infused Explanations of Talent, Book Notes: Lost & Found by Kathryn Shulz, Mindfulness of Consciousness Meditation Retreat. The phrase "Im proud of you" insinuates that the speaker (parent, teacher, co-worker, boss) has more experience, or power, or in some manner has the right to pronounce their opinion, on someone elses effort. Also, as bilabial says, I like the recognize traits he values in himself, like his thoroughness and carefulness. It is arrogant. 26 Reasons to Be Proud of Yourself | Psychology Today . We laughed a lot and re-lived some old memories. Is it wrong to be proud of your accomplishments? You haven't said who is speaking to whom. I wasnt happy with this performance. 8. ), Seven Thoughts to Help You Parent Peacefully, Hints on Maintaining a Harmonious Household. The words I am so proud of you sum up those sentiments. Try these new and funny excuses to ask for money from your parents or your family. (I'd prefer "Congratulations! I am certain that he would be very proud of you, and he would be proud of your decision to reset your life with rehab. Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. You are asked at the cocktail party what you do. So tell them it feels like you are bothering them. Like Im only worth anything just because Im making money? 16. In other words, I care so much about the other person, that their accomplishment can evoke pride in ME. Imagine this: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. thats a case of someone doing one-upmanship. 14. What would replace this oh-so-common parenting expression? 9. One might consider that the mature thing to do, or the business savvy thing to do, but she has had nothing to do with them for years, because they are arrogant and condescending. We love all of our readers and we want to you to know how much youre appreciated! First, he is probably higher status / higher power. I feel virtually murderous towards them. One of the wives of these manual labourers had befriended me in church and was an older woman. relationship advice marriage advice Women love advice. Sure, they get angry with one another, as do all brothers, but they forgive and move on. Here are some tips on how to respond to Im proud of you: Following these tips will help to ensure that you are responding to Im proud of you in a meaningful way. Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor. My boyfriends ex, posted a im so proud of you on a photo he posted: something he achieved. I am in awe of your talent and accomplishments. When someone says they are busy, it could mean that they are busy. Some years ago I attended a parenting seminar, where the speaker incidentally mentioned avoiding the phrase "Im proud of you". If He Says These 10 Things, He's Just Stringing You Along Until He It's a way of congratulating someone for having accomplished something impressive. This "mental timeout" gives you the space to process the insulting remark in light of what it was; someone's thoughtlessness or an attack meant to provoke a reaction. And black adults (57%) are more likely than whites (43%) or Hispanics (42%) to know someone who falls into . I guess after receiving the compliment, I felt that he was patronizing me, because I have only had my parents or teachers say they were proud of me. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. A strong argument is a solid one. In what context. Thank you., Im honored that youre proud of me. "I know someone in recovery". implying a mentor relationship. I just graduated with my degree in hospitality." "Oh, a future barista," says the other guest, swirling his drink. A: It's not necessarily wrong to take pride in our work, of course; if we don't, our work will probably end up sloppy or incomplete. I did like here. You have always been there for me and our friendship is something that will never go away. On Wednesday, a Proud Boy leader, Joseph . 6. Taking a few deep breaths can help you focus. What a surprise! I drove home and when I got home I texted her that I had arrived home safely. You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. I was excited to see your reaction. Why You Shouldn't Say "I'm So Proud of You" - Alyson Schafer Suddenly I found myself questioning my rather lame Im thrilled for you. Give yourself time to process your reaction to something before jumping in with a response. I have deep concerns if children crave to hear "I'm proud of you" because they want to know that their parents approve of them - of their behaviour, of their decisions in life. It can be something big or something small it doesnt matter, because the phrase is used to show their appreciation for your efforts and accomplishments. Proud people: these are the 7 traits that they share Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? This is why we say, I am very happy for you! They are the one to feel proudit was THEIR accomplishment. What to Do and What to Say When Someone Insults You - UpJourney When someone tells you that they are proud of you, not only are they impressed by something you did and who you are, but they also want others to know it. I think its about the underlying meaning of these words to a child. Its also important to remember the power of positive reinforcement and the benefits of responding with gratitude. How to accept a compliment (without sounding like a douche) Sometimes people use it to appropriate the achievements of others, which is a sad and awful thing. The important piece is if they are genuine in their caring (and have been consistent, contrary to the parent that was never there but then feels pride). How do you feel about, "I'm proud of you"? - reddit Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. Approval is different to acceptance. And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? I'm so proud of you" I say things like "I love seeing you so happy with your work" and "I love seeing your words in print". Well cover some of the better responses you can give, like thanking them, making them feel special, or making them laugh. 3. "Proud" and "Humbled": I do not think it means what you think it means The same trope appears in many childrens movies (Babe, Mulan)is there anything more important to a child than their parents love and approval? I realized that I needed to open myself up to friends and partners as well.